One Small Step in Learning How to Find Happiness
South Asian culture emphasizes the importance of others' opinions of you (especially on paper). This includes but is not limited to: the caliber of the college you attend, the status and religion of whom you marry, your career choice, and your financial status. Maturation has helped me to realize the insignificance of these matters. Plus, in reality we cannot control others’ perception of us. In spite of understanding this, I admit I still struggle with optics. Shedding concern over what other people think is my constant work in progress.
Ultimately, we can't control other people-what they think or how they behave. What someone thinks of you has to do with them and their narratives and little to do with you; yet so many of us do what other people think is right. We are brainwashed by what we hear. Often we don’t listen to our own intuition and believe other people know what’s best for us when, in fact, they don’t.
Making decisions for yourself based on others makes no sense. Only you walk in your shoes. No one else knows how you experience your life. You’re best equipped to make your own choices. Attempting to control how others react is futile. Realizing this can open up your life in so many ways. If you don’t believe you’re capable of running your life, practice believing that you are and pretend you do. Try making decisions as if you know what is best for you (which you do) and see how much more gratifying your life will be.
One of my clients, a physician mom whose life appeared perfect on the outside, was suffering terribly on the inside. Her husband had been abusing her for years and she tried to keep the marriage together at all costs because she was conditioned to not have divorce as an option. Every day after work she would pull into her driveway wondering what her husband might have in store for her. Imagine how terrifying that must have been. Yet, she put herself through that torture in order to maintain her family structure as self-detrimental as it was.
She came to me knowing she needed a change, but didn’t know exactly what. Through coaching, her needs became clear. She concentrated on herself-what she wanted, not what others wanted or thought was right (because they didn’t know) and began to realize she wanted health and stability. Through our work together, she learned to make decisions based on self-love and finally decided she needed to leave him in spite of all she had been taught. Coaching helped her to focus on herself and unlearn so much of what she had blindly accepted. Once she let go of what other people might think of her, she was able to see what she (not others) needed.
What does this have to do with you?
You, too, can focus on yourself and live intentionally with integrity-this will give you inner peace and happiness. You can simplify your life without others clouding your mind. You can save time by not wasting it on entertaining what others will think.
Try focusing on yourself and what you want instead of worrying about other people.
Know that you can always control yourself. How powerful.
We can take control of our lives and do what we actually want because we are free-willed adults.
So simple and simultaneously mind-blowing.
Try it and let me know your results!
If this blog post resonates with you, reserve your seat in my free masterclass on Thursday, December 16 at noon EST and don’t worry if you can’t make it there will be a replay available for you.
The 3 Secrets to Enjoying the Life You’ve Worked so Hard to Build:
👊🏼 Stop Sacrifice
👊🏼 Stop Exhaustion
👊🏼 Stop Burnout