How To Make the Most of Your Time With Your Kids By Doing Less

I’ve really started focusing on quality instead of quantity.  With all of our responsibilities at work and at home, it is tough to spend the amount of time with our kids that we want.  Even when we are spending that time, our minds are often wandering and planning tomorrow’s dinner or thinking about appointments scheduled for the next day.  We end up neither here nor there.  Feeling like we haven’t spent enough time and even the time we spend we feel isn’t enough.

 Therefore, we can do better and perhaps not focus on the quantity so much as quality.  In an ADD world where our brains are constantly stimulated by our phones, the internet, and copious amounts of information, it can be hard to sit still.  Short, concentrated times spent with our children are manageable and leave a better impression on them and us.  We can set 5-10 minute blocks of time with each child several times a week to do an activity of their choice.  This method is particularly useful when a child likes an activity that you may not be so keen on.  

For me, this is building with blocks or magnatiles.  I can read, listen to music, or snuggle all day, but when it comes to building things, I get bored quickly.  I’ve found a compromise for this is asking my son what he wants to play with and making it a special Stellan and mommy time.  Subsequently, he understands that this is dedicated time for him.  The blow of the arrival of a second or third child can also be softened with these types of rituals.

Another way to make the most of your time with your kids is to try to savor the moment.  Prolonged hugs and early morning (earlier than you would like) snuggles, you can take in and forever imprint into your memory.  I suspect hugs will become a ghost of the past and in the blink of an eye he’ll be an awkward teen wanting me to drop him off a block away from school so as to not be seen with his mother.  Sigh.  

Now he scrunches up his nose and stomps his feet on the floor during tantrums and I find a part of myself enjoying that.  There is something adorable about that.  And as exasperating as tantrums can be, they are a phase that won’t come back for better or worser.  Not everyone might agree with me on this and I’m okay with that!

 A daily ritual is another easy way to connect with children.  This can be as simple as reading bedtime stories, discussing your days, or practicing gratitude.  Incorporating mundane activities into time spent with them is a convenient way to make time together.  I love that my toddler pretends to cook alongside me and asks for ingredients when I am preparing dinner.   

 An activity that is great for parents and kids alike is to get outside.  Take a walk or have them play in the backyard while soaking in the sunshine and breathing fresh air.  This is good for everyone’s mental health.  

Focusing on quality time over hours spent helps alleviate some of the pressure we put on ourselves and also helps us make the most of our time with them.  We can find a middle ground of connection with our children when we do this.  They will perceive our presence and connection and we will be happier in not beating ourselves up.

Lastly, remember when you are taking time for yourself for a massage, working out, meeting up with friends, or some simple alone time that you will return a refreshed version of yourself with more to give to your family than you did before.  It is not selfish to do something for yourself.  You’re setting a good example for healthy living for your children and being a better version of yourself when you do spend time with them.