Feeling stuck? 10 things you must know in decreasing your stress level
We are in pain! We are overwhelmed and cranky and underappreciated! Many moms come to me and complain that they feel short-tempered and as though they are drowning at home-especially those with two or three kids under the age of 5.
A client of mine has a jam packed schedule, along with a full time physician spouse, which constricts her quite a bit. She has an au pair for help, but their hours are very regulated in terms of what is allowed. Of course, add COVID to the mix, and outsourcing/adding extra help becomes quite the pickle of an issue.
Prior to covid, I used to have a long list of babysitters to use on the weekends and evenings. I would have help on Saturday mornings so my husband could go to the gym and I could workout, meditate, and do coaching. Every Saturday evening, I had a babysitter so my husband and I could connect and have a date night. Much to my husband’s chagrin, I also used to have an organizer come and help take care of chores like putting away my Christmas tree/lights/ornaments as well as dropping and picking up dry cleaning. For me, those nagging tasks are not enjoyable and my time is valuable, so outsourcing that allowed me to spend my time as I see fit-working, at home with my family, or with friends. This freedom enabled me to be truly present when spending time with my son. I rarely felt distracted because I took time to myself and was able to cherish this wonderful and precious time with him.
This system I had in place was so beautiful and I miss it dearly. COVID came in like a tornado and imploded my system. I no longer feel comfortable allowing people into my home. I have had to be creative with how I outsource and carve out time for myself.
These confines are quite the challenge for me to work with in order to help my clients and myself to create alone time. But of course, I am up for the challenge. With my physician mother client, we have found small blocks of time on a daily basis during which she can feel restored. This process does not come naturally for her or anyone for that matter, but is critical in finding a way to combat that irritability when life gets overwhelming, which is often.
Here are some strategies we used with her that you may find useful as well:
1. 10 minutes of extra time in the car to herself when she goes to grab her morning cup of coffee
2. 10 minutes of squats/workout time before she walks her dog during her lunch break
3. Weekend block time she and her husband trade off to sleep in and get some “me time”
4. Gratitude journaling every morning-this helps to shift her mindset
5. Using an app for grocery shopping-this buys her 1.5-2 hours each week to do whatever she wants.
6. Scheduling self care time into her planner
7. Post it note reminders around the house and her car to prompt her to take a minute to breath
8. Plan a COVID-safe outing in the future, like a ski trip, to look forward to
9. Creating time once a month to connect via Zoom with friends
10. Taking up a hobby (chess, baking, adult coloring, knitting, sewing, card-making to name a few)
The above suggestions are solutions specific to a client of mine. Troubleshooting the daily grind and learning to savor each day to be more energized for yourself and your family is doable. Marie Forleo says “Everything is figureoutable” and indeed, it is.
You have the power to take control of your life and make it happier for yourself.
Good luck!