Embrace the Journey: Lessons for Busy Moms from a Working Physician

You're listening to the empowering working moms podcast episode number 92. Hello there. Thank you so much for tuning in today to today's podcast episode of empowering working moms. And hopefully the weather is warming up near you. I know finally the sun is shining here. It was raining like crazy yesterday.

It has been an interesting week or so, maybe 10 days for me. My old au pair left, I was awaiting my new au pair, in between childcare, trying to work. And then I ended up having to move up carpal tunnel surgery. And that was going to be literally like the second day my new au pair was here. And then driving with her to make sure that she's safe to drive my kids. It's been pretty logistically crazy.

And that's what really inspired today's episode. Because really, so many times when we're at work, we're just obsessing over our to do lists, getting everything done, vacuuming with the Dyson, the crumbs, or signing our kids up for soccer. And then when we're at home, we're thinking about emails that we need to answer.

Or if you're a physician, you might have charts pending that you need to finish piling up and a backlog. And you end up just not being present. You're not present at home because you're thinking about work. You're not present at work, because you're thinking about home. And you're just missing out and you're stuck in this daily grind dread trap.

And this really happens because you're just so busy. And you're busy trying to keep up with everything in your life. And then you just end up falling behind and feeling like you're not doing good enough of a job. And then life is just really passing you by.

And so, this whole logistical the circumstances that were super annoying in these past 10 days, I just had so much to do, my to do list was really long. And well, I don't make to do lists. But you know what I mean, I had a lot to do.

And it was just really hectic. And so it really got me thinking about the fact that life is now, like it's happening right now. And the regular moments of our day to day lives are really what make it up. And yes, there are beautiful trips. There are memories we make that are really special, like the holidays.

But besides those, we've got our day to day life that we are lucky to wake up and be alive. And I say this because as a physician, I have seen so many elderly folks, and they're really sick. And they just wish they had more time and they're towards the end of their lives. And it's tough. So while we're here and we're still young, we get to decide what kind of life we want to live.

And that means that we learn to be present for the now and enjoy the journey. And I bring up this concept of the journey because it really is all about this journey. Life is a process. It's never going to be perfect.

And it's all about just being here. And when things go wrong, learning the lessons and being there with the turbulence, knowing that it's going to end and then you come out on the other side. And you are all good. You're resilient.

And I'm sure if you're listening to me and you're thinking, What the heck is she talking about? Like, I don't believe a word of this. I know you can reflect and think of times where you have bounced back and you were so strong.

Because you are a kick ass female and you work you are a mom and we are tough, we are so much tougher and stronger than we give ourselves credit for. So back to the journey. It's really about being here, being present, enjoying the now, and not sweating what's to come.

Because a lot of the time, what's to come isn't as bad as we assume. And we sit there worrying because we want to troubleshoot, we want to problem solve, we want to fix. And it's just a waste of time and energy. So then we drain ourselves but on top of the waste of time and energy, you end up missing out on what's right in front of you.

And so I'll give an example of this actually, this was happening today. So I got my new au pair and we always do a lot of test driving. I do the drive with my kids, getting on and off a kind of like a mini highway where I live, getting on and off, dropping my kids off, figuring out that route, watching are you putting your turn signal on, all those things.

Anyway. So, I go through that. This is my second time doing this with my new au pair. And I feel stressed a little bit because of course, I'm very protective of who drives my kids. They are young children, and they're my most precious cargo. And of course, we're all as mothers, right? We're not just let anyone drive our kids.

So it ends up making me always feel a little stressed and anxious. Right. So then I ended up getting this retired police officer to do a test drive and lesson test him out and give an objective assessment on how he thinks the au pair drives. And that usually puts my mind at ease, and helps to teach any driving skills that maybe they need some brushing up on.

So today, I went to an Easter egg hunt with my kids while my au pair was getting the lesson. And then after the Easter egg hunt, I took them to frozen yogurt. And that's all to say that during frozen yogurt, I knew that her driving lesson was coming to an end soon.

And I could find my mind wandering and thinking about oh, what is the driving teacher gonna say, is he going to say she's a good driver, is he gonna say she's not good, am I going to have to go in to re- all these things just, I could feel my brain going down that path.

And as my brain was going down that path, because I do this work, I'm able to notice that. So I pulled myself back into the present moment, I looked at both of my kids, because they're so cute. And they were enjoying their frozen yogurt so much. And I looked at each one of them.

And I thought this time is not coming back. And this is a really special time, the time that I get to take them for frozen yogurt. And some of the stuff just brings me to tears, the regular daily stuff, because here's the thing, and I'm not preaching about this, it's really the truth like. These are our lives people.

Like taking our kids to frozen yogurt, that's just a regular thing to do. But you know what, 20 years from now, when they are off at college, or they don't live with us anymore, we're going to be dying to spend time with them.

And they may not want anything to do with us. I believe it's sooner than that, actually, that people say that they're just not hanging out with us. Maybe in middle school. I don't know, my kids are young.

But that's it, watching them enjoy their frozen yogurt that mundane, boring, it's not so boring, though, just regular moment, that's what we get to soak in. That's what we get to be grateful for.

That's what we get to really be present for instead of sitting there and worrying about what the report is going to be about the au pair driving. Because regardless of the outcome of that report, I would figure it out, you would figure it out, we'd be fine no matter what, right?

So why bother worrying about that and missing out on the magic of the ice cream, or the frozen yogurt and the look on the kid's face, or my daughter has chocolate ice cream all over her lips. It's just really cute and adorable. And the enjoyment that my son shows. And I look at him. And I look at both of them. And I remember when they were newborns, and I just cannot believe how quickly time has flown by.

So just being grateful, being present, being here and now. Pulling yourself to the present moment by simply noticing what's happening around you, noticing what's happening right in front of you, and pulling yourself there instead of letting your mind wander.

Because believe me, you got this, whatever challenges come your way, you're going to be able to deal with it no matter what. And so that's the journey, the journey is here now.

Which also brings me to pointing out that we often are so used to going from one thing to the next and checking off one box, then getting to the next and the next. And we're always on to the next thing. And then we're sitting there thinking yeah, I'll be happy and satisfied when. I will be happy when I go on this vacation, I will be happy when my divorce is final, I will be happy when I got the perfect job.

And that's just not the case. The happiness is now. The happiness is appreciating all the beauty for what it is while it's happening. As opposed to thinking that a circumstance something that happens is going to solve all your problems.

It's not, and the sooner that we can realize that we are in control of our own thoughts, our own feelings, our own experience of life, this journey, the more empowering that is and that's how we end up enjoying our lives and being happy.

Okay, so in a world obsessed with outcomes and goals and the end game, it's so easy to overlook what's happening, where the real magic is happening, where we learn and we grow. And that is so beautiful, and the destination, where we're heading, which is really we're all heading to death, right? We're all gonna die someday. So we might as well just enjoy the time that we have.

And I know you might think that's easier said than done. But I will tell you that even in my darkest hours, and the most difficult difficult times in my life, especially in the beginning of COVID I would say from 2020 to 2022.

Even when I was pregnant with my daughter from 2020 to 2021, I would enjoy the fresh air outside and soak in my surroundings to keep myself happy, balanced, sane, whatever you want to call it. Even when I was struggling big time in my marriage and things like that. It was a very hard time.

But by being present, and really focusing on where I was at the moment, that is what allowed me to be well during a very turbulent time. So think about this. How often are we rushing through our days, we're just checking off the stuff on our to do list without really experiencing our life. And we're taking for granted the journey.

And instead, we can allow ourselves to be present and really savor the regular parts of life and find gratitude every single day. And gratitude is so important in just helping ourselves have a lens that is a little bit more rose colored.

And as we realize that we don't have to take life so seriously, we don't have to be so intense about everything, we can have a lot more fun, we can be more adaptable, we can be more flexible, we can be resilient. And this really helps build our sense of self and balance and stability.

And by really just taking hold of each day and appreciating it and taking things in your stride. And the thing is, there are always going to be curveballs that get thrown our way. A client was telling me how she was supposed to go to a party and then her spouse who's also a physician had to stay late at work. And then she had to do all this juggling, and eventually she got there.

But the point is that when those things happen, right, that's all part of the course, we make all these plans and we've got to learn to roll with the punches and be flexible and not freak out when things change when plans change, because that is life.

And we get to realize that sweating the small stuff, it doesn't really matter. And it is a waste of time. So I would just encourage you, I know you're ambitious. I know you're a go getter, I know you're getting stuff done left and right.

But I would really encourage you to slow down, stop and really soak in moments with your kids, holding your spouse's hand, the hugs, bedtime, whatever you enjoy. Looking at them while they're enjoying something, seeing the magic of whatever it is, kids get really excited about the tooth fairy or all these things.

And just being there. We're not going to remember half of the stuff that goes on anyway. But I know for me when I'm dying, I am going to look back and know that I did the best I could and I did my best to connect and be there with the people who mattered to me the most. And I highly encourage you to do the same.

Because that's what this is all about. It's our journey, learning to be present and really letting go of toxic stuff, toxic dynamics, we let go of our worries, we don't have to worry so much. It's just not worth it. And we can learn to have presence and connection and truly enjoy our lives.

So if you really want to dive deeper into this work and heal yourself from the inside out to truly find peace, happiness, joy in your life, and therefore we're going to create a happier and healthier next generation of kids.

Book a call with me PriancaNaikMDcoaching.as.me. Thank you so much for tuning in, and I will talk to you next week.