An easy and simple method to find true happiness
Gosh, I wonder how they could afford that house. Charlene said they have family money. Yes, that must be it. How come we can’t have a house like that?
Every caught yourself thinking similarly? Comparing and despairing?
Understandable. We’ve all been there. However, should we remain there or should we find a way to worry about ourselves, perhaps putting blinders on. We never know what goes on behind closed doors even in the most picture perfect of families. And frankly, it’s none of our business.
Worrying about what others are doing or thinking will get you nowhere fast. Mentally staying in your lane will bring you immense happiness. I promise.
The comparison game is a major slice of being human. We tend to focus on the half empty glass and what we don't have-the lack. Now, compound South Asian culture with this innate tendency and BAM-the names of kids who are number one at the local spelling bee or valedictorian will be indelibly imprinted into your memory. You may not know anything else about them and probably don’t know them personally, but you will remember their achievements.
There is a Maharashtrian family-let’s call them the Karekars. I’m pretty sure that both daughters went to Harvard. I want to say that the parents owned the local Indian grocery store. Their names were thrown around my house constantly as the bar-something to which to aspire.
Unfortunately, I recall attending Indian parties during which acquaintance aunties and uncles [all Indian parents’ friends are called aunty or uncle] interrogated me, asking where I went to college and what I was doing with my life. I can’t accept that they truly cared about me and can only conclude they were being competitive. Where did I stand against their kid. Better or worse? They didn't know me at all and somehow were puzzlingly obsessed with my resume. That's completely crazy; well now I think it is. But back then, I thought this practice was normal.
What other people were doing and thought was important. Making the family proud (along with shaming) in front of others had significance. Optics were of the utmost importance with authenticity to oneself was not as much.
I discuss my own personal history here to highlight how deeply ingrained facades and my life on paper were in me. Not until recently, when I developed my own sense of self as I chose, did I realize how detrimental this way of living was.
As I've evolved, grown, changed, and found coaching, I now know what people think of me truly doesn't matter. Not only does it not matter, but it is actually harmful. Comparing ourselves to others and worrying what they think is the perfect recipe for dissatisfaction.
The solution to this problem involves:
Staying in your own lane
Practicing laser self-focus
Self-talk of “I'm not going down that road” when you find yourself worrying about what others are doing or thinking of you.
This solution is simple, but requires hard work. Over time, practice will help you to focus on yourself and realize that what does matter is what you think of yourself.
When all else fails and you’re worried about what people might say when you’re true to yourself, but perhaps in the process of ruffling feathers, remember that people gossip about something for one hot minute and then move onto the next thing and then themselves. Because we are all too self-involved to be worrying on a deep level about what other people are up to.
Trust the process.
If I can undo decades of this practice, then so can you.
By shutting out the noise of how people seem to have perfect lives on social media or how people might judge, you can focus on what truly matters. Your opinion. Your happiness.
Cheers to staying in your motherf#ckin lane.
To find out more of my secrets on achieving happiness, check out my bio to register for my free masterclass on loving the life you've worked so hard to build on Thursday, December 2nd at 8pm EST
https://us02web.zoom.us/j/86110403516
Or if you’re feeling bold and want to get a head start to finding happiness for the rest of this year and the next, book a free 30 minute consultation call with me to take the next step in changing your life:
https://priancanaikmdcoaching.as.me/