Find Inner Happiness with this Easy Practice Today
“Mommy, mommy! Look I made a parking garage!” exclaimed my 2 year old so proudly. He paused and surveyed my expression for approval. Seeking external validation is an innate human practice as demonstrated by my toddler. I often reflect upon what I can do to break this habit for myself and for him.
Until recently, I sought out external validation for anything I did. A good grade on an exam-I would call my parents. A complicated medical case solved-I would mention to my colleagues. A parenting win-I might mention to a friend. A household duty performed exceptionally well-I would tell my husband. What is wrong with this? Nothing per se.
However, looking for validation and contentment outside of ourselves is a recipe for discontentment. We cannot anticipate people’s responses to our news. We cannot force anyone else other than ourselves to act in a certain way. The sooner we make peace with this concept, the more easily we can learn to support ourselves and praise our accomplishments; and the sooner we can find inner peace and happiness.
This is a simple notion. But how do we achieve this?
Through positive reflection.
We tend to focus on the negative aspects of our lives or behavior and quickly glaze over any achievements. We criticize our perceived missteps often playing them over again in our minds like a broken record.
What if we focused on the quality time we spent with our kid today while putting him to bed instead of beating ourselves up about missing his first steps while we were at work? What if we could pat ourselves on the back for taking time to exercising today for twenty minutes instead of thinking that we didn’t exercise for long enough?
This process isn’t easy. It isn’t natural. But I challenge you to recognize the good that you do every day. Give yourself twenty-one days to truly form that habit. Once you do, you will see your mindset start to slowly shift and your inner satisfaction grow.
You’re doing great, mama.