How to Increase Your Patience

My process helps professional moms with the seemingly perfect life who are silently suffering on the inside to know that they're not alone and that they reclaim their confidence and power to have the life they want even if that feels impossible right now.

Cultivating patience is a key part of inner peace and a better life regardless of your circumstances.

Patience is “The ability to wait, or to continue doing something despite difficulties, or to suffer without complaining or becoming annoyed

I was raised to produce results. I’m a results-oriented person and efficiency, and not wasting time are huge for me—so this means I’ve never been patient

Waiting is not fun

We are all used to immediate satisfaction and results

This isn’t serving us. Creating more frustration when things aren’t happening on our brain’s timeline. The antidote and solution to this is patience.

Let’s first address patience with ourselves.

This means giving ourselves grace. Are you going through a hard time or having a tough day? Can you be patient with yourself? So many clients come to me saying they want to be more patient with their kids. But patience starts with us and it takes practice.

I challenge you to practice patience then next time you feel yourself demanding more from yourself or trying to give yourself tough love. What about meeting yourself exactly where you are knowing you’re doing your best and this too shall pass?

Patience with where we are in life or goals. Good things take time. Some people get lucky and get quick results, but often time and effort are combined to create our desired results. So…when we are taking the right steps to get to where we want to go, let’s embrace the process. Embrace the work instead of the end result. This helps us to have patience. Mel Robbins’ manifestation technique emphasizes visualizing the work to get where you want to go and taking pride in the work or action. Try this on for size. Lean into the work. Know what result you want but try to detach from it and know that it will come in time.

Try to zoom out and gain perspective.

This is another key to patient cultivation. For example, when your kids are making a mess and it is driving you nuts-we’ve all been there-take a step back before indulging in the frustration. There’s a simple solution. To clean the mess. If you’re tired you can do it later. If they’re old enough as for their help. Also, what helps me tremendously is to be grateful my kids are in my home knowing that when they’re grown and move out I’ll probably miss the mess. And of course, this is a small blip on the radar and shall pass.

When you find yourself being impatient, try to remember or think that nothing has gone wrong. All is as it should be. Often things unfold exactly as they should but we may not realize that until later. Reflect on some adversities in your life…how did they serve you? It took me 3 years to get my applicant to apply to medical school. I was impatient the entire time in my 20’s…but this did serve me. I am aware of the marathon that is life and was able to get into a few US MD schools in spite of being told that was unlikely. Now, I know that I can do hard things…so can you! Hence, let’s work on enjoying the process, believing in ourselves, and learning to build patience.

Another tip to build patience is to stop feeding into certain narratives.

Because of the previous story, 3 years I took off before medical school I had a mantra-“things take me longer than others” and it wasn’t in a positive light. I realized I needed to ditch this story. So when I feel it coming up, I notice it, acknowledge it as an old frenemy story that doesn’t serve me and then I move on instead of indulging. Notice what stories you have surrounding patience and get rid of the ones that aren’t helping.

Focus on shorter-term goals which will help you get to longer-term goals. If you want to lose 20 lbs it’s not going to happen healthily in one month. But you can increase working out and decrease carbs or more mindfully eat on a day-to-day basis and you’ll see the effects.

Doctors- we’ve all had a long road of education and delayed gratification…remember this. Use this to your advantage in cultivating patience.

Finally, my last tip-which I return to often and throughout my day is

Cultivate patience moment to moment via mind-body awareness.

Remember there is a body. Feel your feet on the floor and your contact with the chair if you’re sitting. The weight of gravity. Feel the stability of the earth beneath you. Breathe. Focus on your breath and the rhythm. This has helped me to be mindful and patient in the line at the grocery store.

If that doesn’t work for you another mindful activity is just noticing whatever you’re doing. One task at a time. Notice the water falling on you when you’re showering or notice your hands on the wheel while driving or the surroundings. Focusing, creating peace, and being present creates more space and patience. Instead of constantly needing to be filled with stimuli, which is the antithesis of patience.

Pick a few instances that elicit impatience typically for you-traffic, waiting in the grocery line, or anything else. Practice a couple of the discussed methods today and see how it goes.