The Top 10 Ways to Let Go and Find Peace

You're listening to the empowering working moms podcast,   episode number 87. Welcome. Welcome to the empowering working moms podcast real talk with Dr. Prianca Naik, that is me, your podcast host, I'm so glad you're tuning in today.

I'm recording this a little bit after Valentine's Day, which was literally one of my favorite Valentine's in such a long time. And it got me thinking about how important this work is, and just how loving ourselves is one of the keys to a peaceful, happy life. And by loving ourselves, we set an awesome example for our children to love themselves too.

And I was thinking about really what love is, and how love in its purest, truest form, is simply unconditional. And if you are not sure of what love is, I encourage you to really think about how your children behave towards you, especially if they're young.

And that is love in its purest form. Your kids love you just for being you. And there's no rhyme or reason to it. And it is the most beautiful thing. And so today I'm about to talk about the concept of letting go. Because most people have been following society's standard of success personally and professionally, instead of asking themselves, what would make them happy.

Or a lot of working moms, whether you're working hard in your career, or even working hard at home, you're always putting the needs of other people in front of your own. So like the hard work that you're doing is based off other people's perceptions and needs more than what you want. And here's what happens if that's what you're doing.

You're going to feel exhausted not getting enough sleep, too much work at home and too much work at work, you're going to feel depleted. Because you're giving at work, you're giving at home, and then you feel like you have nothing left to give. Or even if you are in survival mode, where one day bleeds into the next. I call it the daily grind dread cycle where every day is just like Groundhog's Day.

And you just can't tell the difference between days, especially during the week, and you just want to get through it. Or even having no time where you're busy all the time, over extended. And that just leaves you feeling depressed and unfulfilled.

And so there are really five ways of getting out of this and getting out of burnout and exhaustion. And I'm going to actually give you one of my favorite ways today. So that you don't get overwhelmed I can't  teach you everything inside my program.

But you will be able to be more present with your family and kids and have a better connection with them. Really cultivate more peace of mind get better work life balance, and even hours back each week of your time and your energy. So to truly understand the crux of letting go,  we need to understand that it's not really just letting go of physical things like decluttering or the Marie Kondo method.

It's about letting go of the mental load and emotional weight that we feel day to day because we've got that to do list that really causes us so much grief at work, at home. And the thing about the to do list and I have previous episodes on what to do regarding the to do list, but the to do list is never ending and it always has more stuff piling on. So it's not satisfying.

And frankly, most of us are type A enough that if you let the to do list go, you'll see that you're gonna get everything done anyway. So we find ourselves just overwhelmed with obligations, expectations, and a lot of them we create ourselves, struggling to maintain that balance. So letting go really allows us to free up mental space, prioritize our well being, and get our inner peace back amidst all of the details of day to day life.

And it's really a conscious choice to release things that don't serve us, to release attachment to outcomes, which I know is so much easier said than done. I know one of my senior partners and he's somewhat of a mentor to me, he told me long ago, like you do your best and then you detach from the result which I found really mind boggling. This was several years ago. But he was so right. And really surrendering to the natural, just having more flow in your day with grace and acceptance.

So I'm going to talk a little bit about the benefits of letting go because I think it's important to understand why we let go. And then I'll give you some actual practical tips to do that. So, in the short term, we can really be liberated and unburden ourselves from negativity and self doubt. And really feel so much more free.

And this really allows us to navigate life's challenges so much more easily when we can just let go. Because remember, the only thing we can really control is ourselves. We can't control circumstances, we can't control things around us. We can control what we think, what we do, and how we react to things.

And there's so much power in that control. But then when it comes to all the other elements, we really have to work on releasing and letting go. And as we let go, we really clear up so much more space, in our minds as we're letting things that don't serve us or just are bothering us, letting go, it creates so much more peace.

And as we practice, we can get better and better at it and really release attachment to the beliefs and patterns that maybe are not helping us. And of course, physically, if you declutter, letting go just creates a more peaceful, clean environment.

I'm going to give you the top 10 takeaways from the book letting go–the pathway of surrender by Dr. David Hawkins, because the entire book has multiple chapters on letting go. I've read many parts of it, I didn't read the whole thing, because it's pretty dry.

But here are some things that he talks about, that I think are so useful for us to put into action. And so letting go is really liberating. Because we release attachment to outcomes. And then surrender to the present moment, which really helps us to be present with our thoughts and our feelings. Present with the sadness. Present with the negativity, without resisting or trying to control it. Because the more we resist, it will persist. I'm sure you've heard that saying, but it's true.

As opposed to just letting yourself feel the negative feelings and allow yourself to be where you are. And then once you allow yourself to be there, you can let go. And so emotional release is exactly that, processing your emotions, feeling them, and then you're without judgment, without resistance, and then you can more easily let them go.

And also, how much power there is in forgiveness. So forgiving is a big way to let go, you just let go, especially if someone apologized to you, but they don't have to. You forgive in order to create peace for yourself. And I think the most important person to forgive really is yourself for any harm you may have brought upon yourself or decisions that you made that you feel like you were not in integrity with yourself or you didn't have your own back.

And also just detaching from the ego. Because really, not to get too philosophical, philosophically Buddhist here, but our attachment, our ego, which is really just our sense of self. And it's not even real, the ego, or our sense of self, it's something that we create. So detaching ourselves from our ego can really help us to be so much happier and less frustrated. And really letting go to practice patience and allow things to just happen.

And I find the greatest teachers of patience are my kids, in so many ways. Even something simple like at bedtime, they'll be dilly dallying, and then I find myself feeling a little nervous and anxious that they're cutting into my relaxation time after they go to bed.

I want to have time to unwind before I sleep, and then I have to go to sleep at a certain time because they automatically wake up at 6:30. And then I need a certain amount of sleep and so on and so forth. And then the brain is just spinning out.

But what I find so fascinating is young children really have no concept of time, they don't care, they will just do whatever. And they're fine, like they're very happy. And so it's definitely something we can think about doing more of. And I think it would make us happier if we learn to let go of some of those constructs that we create.

And so here are some major ways in which we as professional moms, moms, in demanding careers, can let go. We can let go of perfectionism. Because I think that is one of the biggest, it has gotten us so far, right, in our careers.

But it is really a thief of joy. So really letting things go in that sense, like letting go of the perfectionism, not trying to be perfect. Realizing that you're human and you're gonna make mistakes and especially letting go of perfectionism in parenting because we're just never going to be the perfect parents as much as we want to be and being able to fess up even and apologize to our kids.

If we raise our voice or do something, maybe that's less than perfect, and we can be open and honest about that. And I think that kids do really appreciate that. And that allows them to also realize that it's okay for them to make mistakes.

So another way to let go is to really let go of our guilt for maybe working too much, or having too much on our plate or whatever else it is. And just realize that we're doing the best we can. And we are the perfect parents for our kids. Like, I believe that kids choose us. And their little spirit chooses the home to be in. So that always brings me tremendous comfort.

And letting go of toxic dynamics, relationships, or friendships that maybe have reached their course and are no longer serving us. I think that that is something that really lightens our mental load and can really create more simplicity for us.

So by releasing toxic relationships, toxic ties, we create space for a healthier, more nourishing connection. We create space and time for new, healthier friendships and relationships.

And now I'm going to give you 10 practical strategies to really learn to let go every single day. So you can use these in everyday life.

And one is practicing mindfulness and really being in the present moment to get that clarity and inner peace. So that means centering yourself, or focusing on your breath when your mind is wandering, or you're perseverating on something that you know isn't healthy for you.

Cultivating self compassion and forgiveness for ourselves. And also that ends up bleeding on to other people. Number three is to set clear boundaries to protect our time, energy, and emotional well being. And I've talked about this on a recent episode. So if you haven't listened to that, check it out.

The next is to embrace flexibility and really release the need for control outside of ourselves. Because we don't have any control over other people and any thought that we do is just a simple delusion, we just can't, right. And really leaning into the natural flow of life.

Five is to declutter physical and mental space. So letting go of unnecessary possessions. And also letting go of thoughts and beliefs that really don't help us, don't serve us. Six is to really focus on what we can control and release attachment to outcomes beyond what we can influence. Seven is to embrace imperfection, and really allow ourselves to be human.

Eight is to let go and stop whining ourselves so tightly, and enjoy and celebrate everything, big and small, birthdays, holidays, progress, growth, festivities, all of that. Nine is to cultivate gratitude and appreciation for the blessings in our lives, really everything that's going well for us. Thinking about all of the dreams that we've made come true, but also on a smaller day to day level.

Being able to acknowledge what we can be grateful for every day, even if it's simple, like having hot water, a roof over your head, your health. Those are all things that we take for granted. And it's important to focus on those to really help us to feel abundance, contentment, and also let go of the small stuff because the more we focus on what's going right, the more that we can let go of what's going wrong.

And really the last but not least is radical acceptance. So really accepting what is and not fighting that. Embracing reality, without judgment, without resistance. And the more we can just kind of accept where we are. And I'm not saying you have to accept bad treatment or accept less from yourself than you want but just accepting that that is where you are right now.

And that you're always growing, learning, and changing, and developing, and moving towards where you want to go. So letting go of fighting with what is and I know that this really allows for a deeper sense of peace and contentment.

So that is this week's episode. I hope you enjoyed it definitely practice one of the 10 things that I talked about and see how it will completely change your life. And if you want to dive deeper into some of this, check out my free brand new on demand masterclass. How over driven career moms can ditch burnout and exhaustion without more self care in only five minutes a day.

So the link for that is in the show notes. Check it out. I just recently redid this masterclass. It's awesome. You don't want to miss it. Take some time. It's about 35 minutes. Make sure you have time to watch it and take notes. Check it out link below in the show notes. Thank you so so much for tuning in and I will talk to you next week