How to Manage "Overwhelm"

My process helps professional moms with the seemingly perfect life who are silently suffering on the inside to know that they're not alone and reclaim their confidence and power to have the life they want, even if that feels impossible right now.

Hello everyone, I'm so glad you're joining today. I was on call this past weekend which means that I'm busy, and I see a lot of patients; this can, of course, be overwhelming. However, I was walking through my process the way I coach myself and observing what I did to keep myself grounded and not overcome by the overwhelm.

The first step in decreasing our stress and suffering is accepting any given state. This is something I've noticed for myself because, of course, I manage my mind and truly love my life no matter what's going on, no matter how hard things might be. I enjoy my life in multiple moments every single day. That is not to say that I don't have bad days or I don't cry. There have been times when I cry a lot. And if I feel like I'm going through a hard time, I will ask myself what is going wrong? What can I fix? Because I tend to be a healer and fixer. That's why I went into medicine.

That's why I went into life coaching.

But recently, I was expressing my “overwhelm” in a group and asked how I deal... I said I allow myself to feel the feelings…ask myself what is going wrong, and come up with a plan/solution.

I am a solution-oriented person, and one of my mentors has always taught me not to be a complainer but come up with solutions, so that is how I have learned to be wired. Not a bad thing. I'm good with it.

But what comes along with this is the idea that something is wrong when I don't have it perfectly together 100% of the time. I recently had this realization. I, too, have to check myself in following my processes because I am not perfect. I think about my podcast on perfectionism, episode #24.

And realize that I have to be reminded to give myself grace as well.

I'm not perfect, nor will I ever be. And, of course, I acknowledge life is good and bad…so there will be challenging times. Hence, of course, there will be times when perhaps there are too many challenges at once, and I may feel more overwhelmed than usual.

Because I have my tools for that of course, recently, with some major transitions going on in my life, including transitioning away from a nanny, sending my baby to daycare, and other things, I realized I was dealing perhaps with more than I have ever dealt with before. Juggling even more balls in the air than usual! I had to dig deep, do some deep personal work, and reflect on how I would handle this and not to let the sense of "overwhelm" overcome me so I could thrive, prevail, and continue to enjoy my life.

Here is what I found…

-When shit gets rough and hits the fan, know it is not permanent; this I know. But know that it may take me where I need to go. I can certainly reflect on times in my life when things were difficult, but the challenging times laid the groundwork for the next step.

-Nothing has gone wrong. I am doing my best, and that's TOTALLY enough.

-I don't have to tackle every single problem at once

Problems and challenges come in various shapes, sizes, and packages and have varying degrees of complexity. Therefore some challenges we can face head-on very quickly and solve. For example, a messy house would hire a cleaner, which is extremely simple. Perhaps with some leg room in there to hire, but overall simple.

However, there are larger problems in life, like challenging relationships or decisions to leave a toxic work environment, and the list goes on…that may require more mental energy.

-In the case of the larger problem requiring more energy, we must cultivate patience. Trust yourself. This is something we work on inside my coaching program. Essentially, once you trust yourself, you know that the answer will come to you. Often, you simply need time and space. Then, you will figure out the solution.

-Everything is figureoutable. Sometimes it just takes longer than you bargained for.

-Hence, cultivating patience makes our life experience more enjoyable.

And when you're completely exhausted, make sure you are very cautious, mindful/careful of giving your energy away to anyone who may need or want it…guard your energy.

Refrain from activities that deplete it

Refrain from people-pleasing

Be very picky about what you do when you are going through this.

For example, don't take on more than you have to during these times. When dealing with major transitions/decisions/stressors, our to-do list can be very daunting, so we don't want to add more.

Don't do anything you don't want to do; don't hang out with anyone you don't want to hang out with.

Be you unabashedly because it doesn't require any extra work.

My process helps professional moms with the seemingly perfect life who are silently suffering on the inside to know that they're not alone and that they reclaim their confidence and power to have the life they want, even if that feels impossible right now.

And please share this podcast with anyone you think would benefit or enjoy it.