How To Deal with An Alcoholic Spouse By Ditching Codependence
My process helps professional moms with the seemingly perfect life who are silently suffering on the inside to know that they're not alone, and that they reclaim their confidence and power to have the life they want even if that feels impossible right now.
The following are tendencies of codependence:
Feeling responsible for other people’s well being
Feeling forced to help others
Saying yes when you want to say no
Trying to please others instead of oneself
Attracted to needy people
Come from repressed or dysfunctional families
Feel a lot of guilt and shame
Going to extreme lengths to control others (trying to force quitting alcohol, forcing therapy)
Seek love and approval, difficulty with confrontation
Pretend things aren’t as bad as they are
Struggle with healthy boundaries which we will dive into
Feel controlled by other people’s anger
Often look strong but feel helpless internally
Now that we have a greater understanding of codependence, let’s address how to combat it.
Breaking the cycle of codependence starts with detachment
Detachment involves present-moment living—living in the here and now. We allow life to happen instead of forcing and trying to control it. We relinquish regrets over the past and fears about the future. We make the most of each day.
— CODEPENDENT NO MORE
Loving detachment
Obsessing over an alcoholic is our biggest problem in this situation. The constant looming thoughts in our heads are taking up precious space in our minds. With that being said, don’t allow them to rent space in your head. Find things to do which will change your focus. Read books, exercise, go to the movies or talk to a friend on the phone. Find things that will help your mind DETACH from thinkingWhen alcoholics do whatever it is they are compelled to do, they are not saying they don’t love you — they are saying they don’t love themselves.”
How to detach:
Restore your peace when drinking/chaos are happening-one thing I have taught my clients: don’t play sherlock holmes
If he swears up and down he hasn’t drank but acting like he has he has…don’ t waste your time or energy participating in that.
Say to yourself I’m not going to go there and keep trucking along. This will bring you peace and save you precious brain space and energy.
Seek your own approval and learn to depend on yourself.
If you want to dive deeper into this work, I have 4 spots opening up for private clients.
My process helps professional moms with the seemingly perfect life who are silently suffering on the inside to know that they're not alone, and that they reclaim their confidence and power to have the life they want even if that feels impossible right now.
Schedule a call today priancanaikmdcoaching.as.me