Finding Balance Beyond Therapy with the Happy Mom Method

You're listening to the empowering working moms podcast episode number 79. Hi there, everybody, I am so glad to have you listening here today to this podcast episode. We are just wrapping up, I was gonna say the old year, which sounds weird. So let's just say that we are approaching the new year where a lot of us feel a renewed sense of self.

And we want to have a fresh start to all that we might want to achieve in 2024. And I know for a lot of you that is finding balance or finding work life balance. And so many of my clients want this too.

In fact, one of my clients, she was telling me that she found therapy. And she did it for a really long time, because she felt unhappy and unfulfilled, especially in her role of being a mom. She's a high power pharma exec. But she found basically, she had two problems with therapy.

One was that it was very expensive, and that it wasn't really covered by insurance, which happens, I think, to a lot of people. And also it was super time consuming. And then it really takes years to see the effect of therapy. So that's really what made her try coaching.

She found that within just a few months of working with me, she had her transformation and was really able to figure out finding happiness, peace of mind and balance her demanding work life along with her home life and responsibilities as a mom. And that coaching really provided tangible solutions for her that really therapy had not.

And I bring this all up because today I want to dive into the concept of coaching versus therapy in finding work life balance, or just finding a more balanced life. Maybe you've tried therapy, and it's helped for a little while. But overall, you still don't feel better. And here's what's happening to most people, when they're experiencing the following problems. You've got the successful career you're proud of.

But almost daily, you're filled with guilt, because you just can't show up for your family in the way that you want. And even though you've made it in your career, you daydream about being with your kids when you're at work. But then you're thinking about work when you're at home, and you're never present in your life because you're constantly flip flopping between the two.

Or when you make plans for fun when you're not working, these plans cause you to feel even more tired, more overwhelmed, and you don't get the sense of peace, rest or balance. And it's so frustrating. Because on paper, you've got everything that you've worked for personally and professionally, but you're still unfulfilled, you're still not happy, and you definitely don't feel balanced.

So often people will look for therapy or to find a therapist to solve this problem. And here's what happens, sometimes the therapist is a good fit, but sometimes the therapist isn't, and then that's kind of an issue because then you have to really go therapist shopping. And then maybe even couples therapy, which is great.

It's good to have a neutral party to mediate and bounce ideas off and have a different set of eyes and ears on your marriage or your situation. But even that doesn't necessarily give you the solution that your marriage needs. And then in therapy, sometimes you just wish that your therapist would be more prescriptive, but he or she isn't.

And a lot of my clients complain that their therapy sessions really turn into vent sessions. And though that's helpful to be able to vent things out, they don't really leave with concrete solutions, and they don't feel themselves finding transformation. And many of us have walked the path of therapy just to help us navigate our brains.

And of course, therapists do offer a safe space if you find the right fit. But it can be a challenge to find the right fit. And the journey through therapy can leave us with insights about our past. But then often, why does it feel like sometimes we're stuck in a never ending cycle of venting. And then maybe even after years of therapy, you might have a better idea of how your childhood has affected where you are today. Or also like what got you here.

But you're still left feeling exhausted and you don't know how to enjoy the now. You don't know how to even get from now to where you want to be. So really, here's what I really believe needs to be done instead: coaching. Because this really starts with an awareness. Awareness is the first step of all of this work. And it's basically an awareness of the stories that are going on in your brain.

So what is our brain telling us and really being aware of that and in tune with that. And then once we realize what our brain is telling us, we can make an active choice and we can decide do we want to play into the story, do we want to feed into the story? And really part of the work inside my coaching program is where you learn about the stories, the narratives that you're telling yourself and recognizing what's going on.

So questioning these narratives and deciding what we want to do with them. That really is the step of breaking free from the cycle of what I like to call the cycle of the daily grind dread, and gaining clarity on our thought patterns that really end up shaping and creating the experience of our lives.

So this cycle of daily grind dread is really something that so many women and moms in demanding careers, they are suffering from it. Where you're waking up in the morning, you're exhausted, your alarm goes off, you're not rested, you got to jump out of bed, get your kids ready for school, out the door, maybe get to school on time, get to work, and then it's go go go in the grind during the day.

You come home, you've got the chores or chauffeuring your kids around, maybe getting dinner on the table, and then you're so exhausted at night. Maybe you're scrolling on your phone, while you're Netflixing at the same time, and you stay up too late watching Netflix, and then you go to bed, not having gotten enough sleep to wake up and do it all over again. And this is just no way to live.

There has to be more, in fact, forget there has to be, there is more to life than this. And it's really through doing the deep work, healing yourself. Not bandaid solutions, which often therapy can be and doing the work to get yourself out of that cycle of the daily grind dread. And really getting clarity on what's happening in your brain and what you're going to do about it. So how do we figure out these stories?

Well take a moment to reflect on major events in your life. I want you to take a moment to do this. And really, I would pause this podcast episode or come back to it later if you're driving or walking or running and think about the major effects in your life, both positive and negative, and make a list.

And then once you have the list, look at each event and really think about the thought that you have related to each event. For example, for me getting into medical school, that was a huge achievement in my life, that was a huge event. Or maybe that is for you, what were the underlying thoughts and narratives that propelled you forward. So for me, it was that I can do anything I put my mind to. And knowing that that is a story, that is a narrative that's helpful. And I can use that and move forward with it.

Versus if there's maybe a negative event with a negative story behind it, we can become aware of that. And conversely, we can decide to drop that story and not play into it because it's not helpful. So understanding these stories is really the first step towards either carrying them on because we want to and this is all with intention. We're living a life with intention and having intentionality.

So we're being intentional with carrying the story forward, because it's helpful. Or in dropping the story and maybe creating a new one, if it's not helpful. And this is especially, you're gonna see this in the negative events. And one of the key advantages of coaching in breaking the cycle of the daily grind, dread.

So one of the key advantages to coaching is that it focuses on action. And it's really about getting ourselves out of this loop of monotony. So meaning this loop of monotony is what keeps us in this daily grind dread cycle, and we can't break free. But coaching helps us identify the stories that's really holding us back and replace them with empowering narratives.

And this is a proactive approach that really moves beyond vent sessions and actually offers tangible strategies to create lasting change. So getting out of the daily grind that dread cycle is really the happy professional mom method, the happy mom method. And we learn to have alignment and mindfulness and empowering ourselves so that eventually we can really enjoy our time with our kids.

Enjoy the trips that we plan, truly be present with them. Have the balance, have peace of mind. And this is all possible. And the reason I really do this work is to help moms like yourself, get out of the daily grind dread to really create the life that they want for themselves. A dream life in fact, one that really aligns with what they see for themselves because I want to make sure that you don't have regrets when you die.

And you're really making the most of this life and enjoying and being present for the majority of your life. To be a happier mom professional, have happier partners, husbands or wives. And happier kids, which really makes a happier world. And as a physician, I'm still practicing medicine.

But I have been there in the full time daily grind dread and one day was just bleeding into the next until I had my awakening when I became a mother and I just knew that I wanted to create a different and better atmosphere for my child. And that is what brought me into this work and that is why I do what I do.

And I heal people in a different way. I am a healer of course, because that's just what physicians are, but I get to heal people. I get to help women like you and really feel like I'm making a positive impact on this world.

So if you too want to learn more and see if you're dealing with issues like this, and they sound familiar book a call with me, PriancaNaikMDcoaching.as.me to see if you're someone that I can help too. Thank you so much for tuning in today and I will talk to you next week.