Cut Yourself Some Slack! A practical tip for stressed out moms

Perfectionism is an inherent part of medicine.  Theoretically, we must perform flawlessly otherwise a patient can suffer, die, or sue us.  Physicians do err because they are human;  the human condition is inherently flawed.  This conditioning has a tendency to bleed into our personal lives.  We aspire to be perfect mothers, daughters, and friends.  We beat ourselves up tirelessly when we make a mistake, going over the missteps again and again in our heads-brainstorming what we could have done differently.

To embrace ourselves as we are, including our imperfections, is an enormous feat.  Instead, can we find a way, digging deep within ourselves, to forgive ourselves for our perceived transgressions?  Would that be easier?  Try it.  When you notice yourself beating yourself up about something, with the first “UGH” in your head, tell yourself to STOP right there.  Proceed no further.  

Have you ever said something you regret?  

Or reacted in such a way that you believe you could have handled a situation better?  

I have.  When saying things I should not and cannot take back in an argument, I no longer treat myself like a punching bag.  I reflect.  I visualize myself embracing myself, as I would my toddler, allowing myself room to be flawed, but to grow.  I empathize with my poor reaction and ponder potential improvement for a similar future situation.  This practice propels me without bogging me down with negative self-talk.  

I persist and always remember my favorite quote: 

“Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day. You shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.”

We can shed the bad, learn, and move forward pursuing good.  We can observe bungles, reflect, and emerge improved.  I hope you feel inspired to cut yourself a break the next time you have a regret and know that you are constantly evolving.