Mastering Balance: Mindful Living for Career-Driven Moms

You're listening to the empowering working moms podcast episode number 81. Well hello. It is the New Year. Happy, Happy New Year. It's actually New Year's Eve when I'm recording this. But I know when you're listening, we're going to be in the year 2024. And what a fun time to have fresh starts.

I’m not really into resolutions, I feel like they don't work. But I do like a reflection of the past year and really just setting an intention for the new year. So I hope you take time to listen to episode number 77, where I talk about reflecting on the previous year and creating power goals for the following year. So check out that episode if you haven't, to really get yourself off on the right foot for this new year.

And moms in demanding careers just like you, I know you've worked so hard. So you want to enjoy your life. And you've worked so hard. And you just don't want to have to worry about just the mundane things like planning and getting organized for family stuff, and even work stuff. And it just becomes so much all the time.

And the problem is that so many of you out there are creating hyper organized to do lists and creating systems. This might help temporarily, but really, nothing ever changes. And you're not realizing that it's about learning to be present for the moments that matter. And that's what you want.

So how do you find peace of mind and joy? Well, you can try therapy, yoga, self help books. Or, the three N method, which is one of my own personal methods to cultivate presence and mindfulness. And I talked about that in an earlier podcast episode. So check that out episode number 61.

But when it comes to those solutions, how are you going to find the right therapist or find the right yoga studio or how long is it going to take to get yourself to yoga? Well, you can find peace of mind with the mindfulness practices that I talk about because of the ease. And also it doesn't require much time at all.

And when most people think about mindfulness practices, they really believe that they have to meditate for hours and hours. And that takes so much time. And this is not true. And even though it seems like it might take a lot of work to find mindfulness and presence, it doesn't. And why? Because what I talked about is really a streamlined implementable process.

So how do you find peace of mind, balance, and presence? Well, let me show you in this episode. And if you really want to dive more deeply into some of these topics, check out my free masterclass on demand, four steps to overcoming burnout, overwhelm, and exhaustion to finally get your peace of mind back. The link is in the show notes.

So I'm gonna dive in today to really learning how to practice mindfulness. So, so many women are wanting to be mindful, wanting to be present, to be present with their kids, instead of having their minds wander on the to do list, the grocery list, dinner planning. And they then download meditation apps like headspace, which actually I really like or calm. And that's been all the rage, it has been touted as the end all be all for peace of mind and work life balance.

But often meditating every single day just is not manageable for most moms with busy schedules. So no matter how many time management techniques you've used, and you're putting everything on your calendar, you still cannot get everything on your list done. But you continue to run into all of this, that you've made it in your career, you daydream about being with your kids.

But then when you're with your kids, you're thinking about work, and you are never present in your life because you're constantly flip flopping between both. And of course, as you can imagine, when this is happening, you're lacking presence, you are neither here nor there. And you're just all over the place in your brain. And the problem with this is it is just exhausting and draining. And this is what leads to burnout.

So I want to talk a little bit about the benefits of mindfulness. And then I'm going to give you actionable tips to practice mindfulness and really get that presence and pause. So some physical benefits of mindfulness is it creates stress reduction, which really has been shown to lower the production of cortisol, which is a stress hormone.

So if you lower cortisol, you're gonna lower the overall stress levels in your body and you're gonna feel better. Now as you know, I am an internal medicine physician. So when it comes to talking about medicine, or hormones, I am highly trained in this.

And also you get better sleep quality because mindfulness practice trains your brain to not only focus better, but also it promotes a little bit of relaxation. It's going to reduce your mental chatter. And that really helps in falling asleep. And so I always do a relaxation technique starting from my toes up to my head. And as I relax each segment of my body, I usually fall asleep before I can reach my head, it's really helpful.

And then also mindfulness is going to enhance the immune system. So there was a study published in 2012, that showed that the effects of mindfulness based stress reduction, the participants underwent an eight week MBSR Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction Program. And they found that the expression of pro inflammatory genes were reduced in individuals who were practicing the mindfulness.

So this right there shows you that you're going to have less inflammation, right, and it's better for your physical health if you can practice mindfulness. It is also helpful in managing chronic pain conditions. And it helps you really hone in on your mind and your body.

And you're not as overtaken with what you're feeling, including pain. And of course, deep breathing, and really learning mindfulness is linked to lower blood pressure. And then you're gonna have improved cardiovascular health.

And in terms of mental wellness and mental health benefits, mindfulness is known to be an amazing stress and anxiety reducer. It really helps people become more aware of their thoughts and feelings, get distance from those thoughts and feelings. That way the stories in our head, and our feelings don't overtake us as much.

And when we can get a little bit of distance from what our brain is doing, this really decreases our suffering. It helps us respond to stressors in a calmer, gentler way. And it also helps with emotional regulation. So really being able to notice the feelings that come up, and feelings are often just a vibration in our bodies.

So squeezing in my throat for me, I really feel a lot of my tension in my throat if I feel anxious or stressed. And when I noticed that I can just say, oh, I have some anxiety coming up. That's all it is. And I don't have to be as freaked out as I would have been five to 10 years ago, before I started practicing mindfulness.

Mindfulness also helps focus and concentration. So you're gonna have better cognitive performance on tasks, which is awesome. It's associated with improved memory, and really just an overall enhanced sense of well being life satisfaction and learning to be in the moment so that your life doesn't pass you by.

So instead of being really busy, not taking a moment to be mindful and missing out on what's important, here's what you do instead. So I'm going to give you four methodologies to practice mindfulness that are quick, simple and easy that you can do instead of sitting and meditating for hours and hours.

So the first method I'm going to talk about is literally acknowledging that there is a body. And I use this one when I am feeling really stressed. I can feel like I want to take action based on an emotion, like especially a highly charged emotion, like if I'm feeling upset or stressed.

Maybe I have the urge to cry, like it's really strong. And I want to take action, I want to make decisions. But I know that I'm way too caught up in the emotion to make a sound and balanced decision.

The first thing I do is say to myself, there is a body. So when I say to myself, there is a body, you remember that you have a body. Because most of the time we are in our heads, and we don't even realize that we do you have a body. And as you do that, you can start to notice your body, notice the pull of gravity. So for me if I'm sitting, like I'm sitting right now, there's a body.

So I notice my feet on the ground. I notice my butt on the chair. I notice my hands on my lap. And I just notice the areas of contact. So there is a body, areas of contact, the weight of gravity. And when you do that, you're going to feel this stability in your body. So that's great because it's really a grounding exercise.

And the goal here is to feel grounded and centered within yourself. And that is one of the most important things when something is upsetting you or you feel like there is chaos around you or you're starting to feel chaos in your own head. There is a body is the number one tool in my toolkit to get ourselves centered and grounded. So there is a body.

Notice the points of contact with the floor or where your hands are, your feet. And then feel the weight of gravity on your body and you're going to feel solid, you're going to feel stable. It's going to center you. But you're also going to get out of your head where all the stories are swirling around and going and making you feel stressed and anxious. Okay, so that is tool number one. I'm actually going to do five tools, because I forgot to talk about my three N method, so I will do that last.

All right, number two. Simply count your breaths. So literally, when you are feeling stressed, you can just count your breath, like count the inhale as one, one, exhale, two, inhaling is one, exhaling is two, you can breathe quietly, three, four, all the way up till 10. And then you start with one again. So counting your breaths, inhaling and exhaling one, two, all the way up till 10.

And then you start with one again. I would do this for about times five, it doesn't take long at all. And if you're focusing on your breath, and notice where your breath is, does it feel like it's in your shoulders, in your chest, or is it your belly. And just observe the rising and falling of the belly as you count your breaths. And this also gets your brain to focus on your breath.

So then you are out of your head, and you're not as married to the stories in your head or feeling these really strong emotions. So this is another one that I use when I'm feeling a little anxious, or I'm feeling a little stressed. And I just simply count my breaths, and it helps to just center and ground me.

The third tip and tool I'm going to give you is box breathing. Now, this is used by I believe the military in stressful situations. So you inhale to a count of seven or eight, you hold for another seven or eight, you exhale for a count of seven, or eight. And then once you exhale, you wait, you count to seven, or eight, and then you inhale again.

And it's box, because if you visualize it, so you've got four steps, each step is an equal count. So it creates a box. And this is really useful if you're getting amped up, you feel like your heart is beating fast. Do this for about a minute or so. And you will find yourself much more calmed down, much more relaxed. And this too, will get you out of your head and more one with your body and your breath. This is a really good one for when you're feeling really amped up and you just want to calm yourself.

Tool number four is to notice what is around you. So when you find yourself, your brain is spinning, you're feeling anxious. You can do something very basic, like if you're inside, look inside the room, notice what's on the wall, notice the curtains on your windows. It's even better if you can get outside and breathe some fresh air. Notice the trees.

And what this does is this helps us to connect with our surroundings and in our environment. And this also gets us out of our heads. Because when we're in our heads, and of course being in our heads is, I mean, it's a great thing in the sense that this has helped us achieve so much. But it also is really the cause of so much of our grief and suffering.

So when we can really learn to work with our monkey mind and our brains, the way they're spinning out. And we can learn that that's just how we function. But instead, work with it and not against it. Right. These are simple tools we can use to really just notice our surroundings and get out of our heads.

Now the last one I'm going to talk about is the three N method, which is my own personal method to cultivate mindfulness in a matter of a few minutes. Now this is a little bit more advanced. I'm gonna go over the first step because the other two steps are a little bit more in depth. And I go into this more in the episode I mentioned on mindfulness. And I also talk about it in my master class.

But the three N method is notice, neutralize, and new. And this is really useful for when you're feeling negative about something, when you're feeling upset. Simply notice. Notice what's going on, notice what's going on in your body. If you're feeling anxious, what is it? Where is it? Qualify it, quantify it in your body.

So notice, and then once you notice, you're gonna get that distance, and you can neutralize it and then the last step is really to create a new thought. But I want you to focus on noticing. Because as you notice, and you become aware, which is really the first step in this work, you create awareness, you're going to get the distance that you need to cultivate inner peace and presence.

Now, I just talked about how these tools can help you when you're feeling stressed or anxious or get you out of a negative cycle. But they're also really useful in creating presence. To be present in the moments when you want to be there. So this is true, especially for when you're spending some precious moments with your children.

So if you have younger children, and you do a bedtime routine, and you notice yourself obsessing about work, or the grocery list or dinner, while you're supposed to be reading stories, and your brain isn't even there, you can use any of the tools that we talked about today. So for example, if your mind is wandering when you want to be present in an important moment.

Or just savoring time with your family, your friends, or your children. You can literally just focus on your body, say there is a body and notice your body and breathe.

Or this is not a tool that I mentioned, but really easy to do. Just focus on your breath. It's kind of like counting your breaths, but just notice the inhale and notice the exhale. And as you do that, it really brings you in to yourself, centers yourself, you're going to ground yourself, and you're going to be present.

So these mindfulness techniques that I talked about today, they're ways to calm yourself, decrease your suffering, deal with any negative thoughts or emotions. So that's an amazing thing, right? Like that's what we want.

Because then we're going to feel less exhausted, less burned out.

But the other piece of this is it really helps us to be present in the moments that matter. And that's where we start to be present, take hold of our lives. We don't have to let life pass us by and we can start to enjoy everything that we've worked so hard for.

Now, I have helped countless professional moms like yourself reduce their stress and anxiety, ditch burnout once and for all in 90 days or less through working with me.

And to see if you're someone that I can help too, book a call with me PriancaNaikMDcoaching.as.me. The link will be in the show notes. Thank you so much for tuning in. I am wishing you the best of years this year, and I will talk to you next week.