Live Out Your Dreams by Living for You

Before we dive in, I do want to let you know enrollment is open for my 1:1 coaching program for professional moms who are mentally exhausted in survival mode and want to enjoy the life they’ve worked so hard for. I have four (4) spots in December, so book a call with priancanaikmdcoaching.as.me and apply to work with me. I would love to talk to you. The link is in the show notes.

We start people pleasing at a young age wanting to appease our parents and gain the approval of our teachers. This is good and, well, important in shaping us…however…this external approval and validation, the programming with which we grow up, runs so deep that what we want often becomes what others want. Fast forward 35 years or so, and then find yourself not enjoying this life even though you’ve busted your butt to succeed and do all the right things; check all the right boxes.

Have you ever asked yourself what you want in life? What job? What kind of a partnership? What kind of social life?

Or are you just living how you saw life should be? What was the norm for your parents and aunts and uncles?

If you’re a doctor, did you want to become a doctor, or did you do so to please your parents?

In Indian culture, this is probably no surprise to hear. Being a doctor is often pushed as a prestigious proper profession.

I wanted to be a fashion designer as a young child. I was into fashion, but I never considered it a career because it wasn’t stable, and I wouldn’t seem smart amongst my family and parents’ friends. I also considered becoming a therapist, but that wasn’t prestigious enough. I come from a family of physicians. So, of course, becoming a doctor ended up being a dream of mine. Not because my parents told me to do it. But because I believed it to be a noble stable profession that would finally make me worthy. People would know I was brilliant and I could help people.

Indian parties.

Besides helping people, so much of this had to do with external factors. It was what I wanted based on how I’d been programmed.

Take a second to reflect on your own programming. What did your parents want you to be when you grew up? What were their expectations of you? Who did they encourage you to marry? Did you listen?

Now that you’re an adult and have the privilege of making your own decisions, what do you want to do with your life?

You get to choose. You get to decide. Whatever your heart desires. It doesn’t matter what your parents or others think. You can switch jobs/careers or whatever. You don’t have an obligation to others’ expectations of you.

In fact, it doesn’t matter!

Even if some decisions up until this point have been due to what others want for you, you get to change at any time.

You can start to figure out your life now.

When clients begin their work with me, I have them map out their vision longer term and then shorter term. So many of them find it daunting and difficult. It is like creating a vision for ourselves is not the norm.

Crazy right?!

Society, cultures, organized religion, and other factors dictate our sense of what’s acceptable or normal. We can actually empower ourselves to question things and decide what we think is right. For example, Disney fairy tales are unrealistic and create unhealthy expectations for young girls to find their prince.

Also, major tv shows show narcissistic jerks transform without therapy, effort, or coaching and become different people. This is so unrealistic and actually toxic. Yet, this is what is shoved in our faces as normal.

I challenge you to think about how much of your life is lived for you or others who don’t walk in your shoes daily.

Think about what you want out of life. The kind of person you want to be. What your life would look like if you made decisions with self-love.

What will be important on your deathbed? People bring this up a lot, but it creates an instant perspective. Though our careers are important, I’m guessing most dying folks are thinking about the trips they took or the impact they made, or the precious time they spent with loved ones.

Take a moment to reflect on what your priorities are. Or what would they be without your parents’ input. Or what would they be if another family had raised you? Then, start stretching your brain to think about what you…the purest form of you…before you learned to put everyone else above yourself. What the child in you would have dreamt of…what kind of a career and life she envisioned for herself before someone told her she couldn’t dream?

Start writing it down and taking note of it. Have gratitude for the dreams you did make come true so far and create new ones…all of your own. If you have a dream you would like to share but are afraid of being judged, let me know. You can find me on Instagram at priancanaikmdcoaching. Shoot me a dm of your dreams; I will support you. However, I will caution you to be careful regarding who you share these with otherwise. Beware of naysayers and Debbie downers. They’ll suck the wind right out of your dreams. Dream big and hold those dreams tight.

As you see this vision, you can begin to create it in real life. The dreams are just for you and no one else. That’s the life that will be in alignment with the real you, not the you on paper or the you that you’ve been trying to be.

Let’s get started on making those dreams a reality. If you want to move past mental exhaustion and burnout, book a call with me, praicnanaikmdcoaching.as.me, I have 4 one on one coaching spots open in December.