How To Stop Getting Stressed About Everything

You're listening to the Empowering Working Moms podcast episode number 60. Hello there. Welcome, welcome. Thank you so much for tuning in to my podcast today. I am so excited to have you. And if you don't know about me, I just want to introduce myself again, my name is Prianca Naik, I am a physician. I'm a mom of two small kids. I'm also a life coach.

And what really brought me into this work was becoming a mother and realizing that the way I was living my life, not only was it not sustainable, but I was anxious all the time. And I just knew I wanted to create a better ambiance for my child to grow up in. And now you will see me with a pep in my step. And you know, my kids are always smiling and having a good time. It is through my own journey that took me years of research and hard work to come up with streamlined processes, like my 3N method to help women like yourself really be done with exhaustion and burnout.

And you know, I have clients like my client Sumir, who was on the verge of a clinical depression, but through working with me, really, she was able to have more confidence to make decisions and have much less shame and self doubt. And having a better relationship with her spouse and her kids and feeling more balanced. So the work we are doing inside my coaching program, it's really not time intensive, because we've got my streamline processes, very easy to follow. Quick, kind of a modern spin on mindfulness that makes it fun to do and will have you really enjoying your life. And to learn more join my free on demand masterclass four steps to ending burnout and exhaustion to finally get your peace of mind back.

So today I'm going to dive into mindset work and mindset shifts. And mindset is really something that gets thrown around a lot in the life coaching world. So if you don't know anything about mindset, it really refers to a person's established set of attitudes, beliefs, thought patterns, that ends up really shaping their perception of their lives, of themselves, of others, of the world. And it's really a mental framework that influences how we understand situations, how we make decisions, or how we respond to challenges or opportunities.

So the power of mindset. And what's really the gold here is that mindsets can actually be changed, they can be developed. And we have control over that. So once we're aware of what a mindset is, we can work with it through our own consciousness, we realize it's there. And we can create awareness around this and really decide how we want to proceed. So mindset work really embodies becoming aware of one's existing beliefs and attitudes, and really working to reshape them in order to create a more positive and helpful constructive environment for ourselves and how we see things.

And there are a couple of different mindsets that get talked about a lot. There's a fixed mindset, which is really where people tend to believe in their own inherent natural abilities, intelligence, traits, feeling like things can't really change. And often this will lead to avoiding challenges for fear of failure or setbacks, and feeling like you're limited and can really hinder personal growth and learning.

But now the growth mindset, which is so magical, and I really wish I had had this when I was in college, or even high school, better late than ever, is when we believe that our abilities and intelligence can be developed over time through effort, learning, hard work, perseverance, really embracing challenges, and seeing missteps and mistakes as opportunities for learning and growth. And it's so much more fun to approach life this way. So when you have a growth mindset, you might be more likely to take some risks or challenge yourself. And it really leads to more resilience, motivation and achievement. Sounds good, right?

So we're going to talk a little bit about that today. And really mindset work embodies self awareness exercises, and really challenging our negative thought patterns and seeing how we're thinking. And then we can start beginning to see how we have maybe limiting beliefs, meaning beliefs that hold us back or make us think that we can't do something. So really being aware, learning about mindset, it is such a powerful tool in taking control of our lives, how we see things and really experiencing it in such a better way. So here is a process that I follow and I'm going to explain my process to you and then I'm going to give you my own personal example, so that you can understand how I use this work.

So there are a few steps in this. Step number one is to be aware. Awareness is really the first step and the key in this life coaching work. The work that ends burnout, the work that ends exhaustion, the work that helps you enjoy the life that you've worked so hard for. So we deserve to enjoy our lives, right? So here we go, we are aware of what our brain is doing. Be aware of the story that your brain is telling you. You might be thinking, what? My brain is telling me a story, what do you mean? So basically, the way we see things, the way we see our lives is really just a bunch of thoughts that we create in our brains. And often those stories are tied to old narratives or old stories, or let's say a victim mentality or mode, right.

So once we are aware of a narrative or story that our brain is telling us, we don't have to be so enmeshed in it, we don't have to be married to that story. Because when we believe, especially negative stories, when we believe them as truth, they make us feel anxious, or stressed or angry, or whatever, right. So the first step is becoming aware of what story your brain is telling you.

And then Step number two is to decide. So step one, awareness, be aware. Step two: decide. So you get to decide, you have the power to make an active decision as to whether you want to indulge in making a specific situation or event, what are you making it mean? So this is really so important to realize. What are we making things mean all the time? Because we have certain stories, and then we make them mean something, and then that leads to more distress. Very simple example, you know, someone could in the grocery store be rude with you, or like, cut you in line in checking out your groceries. And you might say, oh my God, that person thinks that I'm somebody you can take advantage of, and this and that and create a whole story, some story you have about yourself, and then that's just going to make you feel bad. As opposed to maybe that person is having a bad day. Maybe that person is a jerk, and it has nothing to do with me. Right?

So this is just something to reflect on. Think about what story you're creating, and do you really want to indulge in that story. So you might be wondering, how do I decide this? So here's how you decide, is this story serving me? Is this story helpful in living my life the way I want to live it? And then you get to decide, do you want to hold on to this story? Do you want to keep it because maybe if it's not serving you, that's the story you might want to drop, right.

And then the third step is, and this is a bit more advanced, but then you can decide you want to create a new story. Let's say a story that's helpful, a story that makes you feel good, or gives you inner peace. So these are the steps of the process to follow of really shifting what we make things mean. So one is, be aware, two is decide if you're going to indulge in the story or not, do you want to hold on to it. And three is decide if you want to create a new story or not.

So I'm gonna give you my own personal example. Recently, I have had a lot of stressors going on at the same time, lots of juggling, lots of balls in the air. In terms of my career, I have been busy seeing patients a lot and also coaching. I'm in the middle of a very high conflict divorce, managing my children, of course, they are two and five. So it's a lot on my plate, right. And I could see that everything was starting to pile up.

Now remember, I have been doing this work for a really long time. So having a lot on my plate or major stressors, I'm able to approach them with ease, but I'm not perfect. So of course, I'm not going to be thrilled about every single little thing every single moment, but I'm walking you through how I manage things. Okay, so what I could see was all this was piling on, and I found myself being in a cranky mood about everything. I could just feel like everything was getting on my nerves, small things, I was irritable, I wasn't sleeping well, I could see that there was a lot of stress going on. And I knew I was in control of it. Like I knew that I was the one creating all this. But given all that I found myself feeling upset or angry about certain things.

So when I could see this was happening, I dug into my story. And this is what my story was "XYZ is unfair." Well, maybe it was. The state of medicine is broken. Maybe it is. I'm irritated one of my friends planned a trip to a blistering hot place and that is wrong. Well, maybe it is. But the bottom line is whether or not these stories are true, which there's no fact in these stories. They're not true at all in the sense that things that are actually true are objective like numbers, for example, like you can't argue with the number in your bank account. You can't argue with your age. Those are facts. They don't have a charge to them, right.

But these stories that I'm talking about, they are stories I create, and they have charge. So when I'm realizing I'm creating these stories, I have the power, just like you do in the stories that you're creating. So when you find yourself creating these stories, follow the three step process that I mentioned, right? So be aware, ask yourself if the story is really true, what is the root of the story? Do I want to feed into the story? If not, how can I reframe and create a new one.

So remember, one, be aware. Two, decide make an active decision about the story. And three, decide if you want to hold on to it or create a new story. So in my own personal story, I've been in a cranky mood, and I'm aware of my stories. I'm not actually sure I want to change these stories right now. So that's what's interesting, but I know that it's an active decision. It's a choice that I'm making of whether or not I want to indulge in these stories. So I'm not in a place where I'm indulging in a major way. But I'm also not on the third step where I'm creating a new story, I'm just kind of sitting with the story observing, being an observer of what my brain is doing, and then really kind of sitting with it.

So I am giving myself some grace and realizing that these stories are my own creation, which are creating the negative feelings. And that in and of itself is powerful, because I know that I am not a victim. I know that I'm creating my own stories and my own life experience. And as I give myself the grace, the space, and the time, when I'm ready, I can begin to build a new story. See, so I have the power and now I'm teaching you to have your own power. It's so beautiful. So see how it's done.

Follow this process, it really is gold and it will change your life. And to learn more streamline processes like this and my 3N method which took me years of research and trial and error to get out of exhaustion and burnout book a call with me to get an anti burnout roadmap, see if we're a good fit to work together to truly enjoy your life again because you deserve to, you've worked so hard not to. PriancaNaikMDcoaching.as.me. Book a call, the link is in the show notes. Thank you so much for tuning in and I will talk to you next week.