3 Steps To Create Joy And End Exhaustion

By the time this comes out, I believe we might be in the first weeks of school. I know my friend in Florida, her kids actually start school the end of August. So some of you may be already well into the school year.

Before I get started on today's topic, I do want to let you know that enrollment is open for my life coaching program for professional moms who are exhausted and burnt out. Actually a client of mine, Helen, said to me that as a busy full time working physician and a mother of three children, she was really struggling finding time for herself, to take care of herself while taking care of her family. It was just all too much. She felt a lot of mom guilt, she was chronically overworked, overwhelmed, exhausted. This was all before working with me.

But after coaching with me, she realized and overcame many of the obstacles that she didn't even know existed. Coaching actually revealed for her these obstacles that were preventing her from really enjoying her life. And after coaching with me, she found much more happiness, more balance, and has hours back every week.

To learn more about my process, check out my free on demand masterclass on overcoming exhaustion and burnout to truly enjoy your life, the strategies, the link will be in the show notes.

Today, I want to talk about the concept of taking things too seriously. And funnily enough, there is a slogan from Al-Anon. That is "easy does it." And that's an awesome slogan just to kind of ground oneself and realize that we've just got to take it easy sometimes. And I know this is so much easier said than done. Because we have so much to manage as professional moms, we've got the busy jobs, we're managing so much at home, and it can be like the default to get really caught up in the day to day grind.

So something that I find is a phenomenon amongst my friends, my age group, my clients, is that everyone is really busy. They're trying to make a ton of money for their children, for their own lives and dreams. And they're just in this grind of working, working, working. And then they get home. And they're just doing the routine without really thinking about it. They're exhausted, then let's say they go to bed, they're over Netflix-ing, they're not sleeping enough. And it's just a malicious cycle.

This grind is so depleting and yet, it's really how so many people live, especially if they don't take the time to really evaluate how they're living, which is some of the beauty of life coaching. That's why I'm so passionate about it. Additionally, working women will be hyper-organized, and they'll organize and plan everything to the T, to have a false sense of control. But really stuff happens all the time to make our plans go awry. And then when things do go wrong, after you plan something to the T, or you organize up the wazoo, then a lot of times we freak out or we'll have a ton of anxiety and it's exhausting. And it's not fun.

And the to do list also will make us totally miserable. And I talk about this in Episode 37. If you want to know how to deal with your to do list. The other part of the grind that people take too seriously. And you get all caught up with the three C's, I call them the three C's. Cleanliness, crumbs, and clutter. Because there's been a lot of stuff on social media and with Marie Kondo, with her clearing out clutter, and I do, let me just say for the record, I do love that idea. And I myself don't like crumbs and I myself try really hard to not keep things cluttered and to have everything neat and tidy and clean.

But the point of bringing this up is often we cling to the three C's, the cleanliness, crumbs, clutter, because it's something that we can control. When there's chaos around us. We need that to be in order because at least that's going right. And there's nothing wrong with that. I'm just pointing out so that you can be aware of what you might be doing and do you need to be as intense about the three C's? Do you need to devote as much time and energy on that kind of stuff? Or would your time be better spent trying to relax or getting to bed on time.

Other things that we take too seriously and drive ourselves crazy about are getting to the airport on time, getting to school on time, getting kids out the door, getting to work on time, packing the lunch in the morning, the laundry running smoothly, planning anything in super detail, especially trips. I've seen people really plan these trips to the T, and some people really enjoy this and that's great, but I bring it up here because I just want to point out if organizing and planning things in uber detail brings you joy, that's great. But then just remember, when things don't work out, you can make an active decision to not take it too seriously, not let it cause you suffering, and actually take it in your stride.

So these are just examples of mundane things. And of course, a lot of these things need to be done, right. But we do not need to spend a ton of energy on these sorts of things. We get to make an active decision, we get to decide where our energy goes. And that is empowering. And that's what helps us really get control of our lives, deciding where it's going to go. And so the energy needs to go to our priorities.

So one thing that's important is you really need to figure out what your priorities are. For many people. This is their children, raising their children, teaching their children, rearing their children, loving their children, caring for their children, and their partner or their family, their friends, nurturing those relationships, their jobs, their careers, that's important too, right? And whatever else that might be on your priority list.

My observation though of most women around my age is that they are really held back, bogged down, tired out by the to do list. And this mundane to do list and the mundane stuff leaves them feeling tired, depleted, and trying to find Band Aid solutions, like a little bit of yoga or working out on their peloton, maybe some therapy, Google searches, self help books, audiobooks, but it doesn't work, because these are all external Band Aid solutions.

And the work has to happen from the inside and ripple outwards. So we have to do the work on ourselves to really heal ourselves. And that's how we get past exhaustion and burnout to enjoy our lives. So the first step in this work, like I've talked about, is really awareness. And that's always where to start. Being aware when we allow small things to steal our joy, for example, allowing a day of missed recycling to ruin your day or steal your joy, allowing the crumbs on the counter from the toaster to steal your joy. Or let's say your kids are drawing with crayons on the couch. I know that's happened to me letting that steal your joy. And it's just small stuff.

And we really don't need to sweat the small stuff. In the long run, it's not going to matter, the crumbs aren't going to matter, the crayons on the couch won't matter. The things that really matter, which we know, like our health and you know, our loved ones, our relationships with them, the connections we make, we know that somewhere deep down inside, but on a day to day basis, this often gets lost.

So listen to this podcast episode as your reminder to really focus on your priorities, take some time to brainstorm them and think about what they are. Maybe put them on a post-it note and have them as a reminder of that's really your focus to help you not get upset or bogged down by smaller things.

Now, these are smaller injustices. I'm talking about like first world issues, for example, paying a cleaning lady a lot of money. Why is there hair in the shower after she just left? I say this from personal experience. Yuck. But seriously, that stuff triggers me. But I do manage my mind when stuff like this happens and not let it steal my joy. Because I do know it's a first world problem. I do know it's not the end of the world. I do know that it's okay. It's enough. It's not a huge deal.

So when it comes to smaller issues, we get to choose to zoom out, we get to see the larger picture, we get to empower ourselves to keep the larger picture in mind. You can choose to focus on the big picture and not allow small things to take your power away. I'm sitting here teaching you to do the same. So you too can be in the fun, the dream, the happiness of your life, because it is possible for you like it has been for my clients and me. Life is so beautiful. And don't get me wrong. It can be ugly at times, right? That's the human experience.

But there is so much beauty there is so much magic and it is really short, life, that is, so we can't waste it on meaningless crap. So along with brainstorming your priorities, that's your to do list. That's your homework from this podcast episode. To list your priorities, put them somewhere where you can see them.

And now I'm going to give you a couple more steps in this exercise of not sweating the small stuff because it really is a key component in being energized and feeling joy. You may want to pause this or come back to this later. So you can write this down.

But I want you to take some time to think about what is important along with your priorities. What is important? What matters in your life every single day? Who matters in your life every single day. What impact do you want to have on people, on the world when you die? What are your priorities? Who are your priorities? And how are these people who are your priorities? Are they well? Are they healthy? And then you can express gratitude for that. And I believe I have another episode on gratitude practice earlier on one of the earlier episodes of this podcast. So definitely check that out, because that is an antidote to burnout and an easy way to increase happiness.

Another tip I'm going to give you it's a little extreme, but it works. So, often, I will purposely catastrophize in the sense that, let's say there's a babysitter or nanny who is not following the exact instructions I give them with my kid like not following schedule, being late, being behind. I will ask myself, is my child alive? He or she isn't going to die, right? If that's the case, then I'm going to let it go. Now this attitude is really helpful in letting some of the smaller things go because I think here we are perfectionist, we want things to go a certain way with our kids, we are really type A and it can cause us a lot of suffering. So adapting this kind of extreme thinking is helpful in allowing things to just roll off your shoulders.

And truth be told, before I did this work in coaching, I would obsess over, let's say the carrots not being pureed in the right way for my child. Like stuff that really didn't matter. Once you create your priorities, once you do this exercise, you can focus on your priorities and really start dropping the smaller stuff. Dropping stuff that doesn't matter and taking your power back from the BS small things like the to do list, which I know seems like a huge deal. But in the end, a lot of it doesn't matter. It's just going to get done, the crumbs on the counter, the mess, the crayons on the couch, et cetera.

So by doing this, we can take an active role in our happiness and ditch exhaustion, ditch burnout, ditch overwhelm, to finally enjoy our lives. To have a streamlined process to find confidence, get clarity, make decisions and have inner peace while having a positive ripple effect on your kids, on your family, on those you love. And these processes will work a lot faster than therapy yoga, self help books. Book a call with me to get started on this work. PriancaNaikMDcoaching.as.me You can be out of exhaustion and burnout in 90 days or less. Thank you so much for tuning in. And I will talk to you next week.